I
The Square
By which we measure our snack portions and the angle at which our recliner has betrayed us.
Anno Lucis
BrotherMatthewJaredSmith
Esquire, comedian, recovering big back, and most humble servant of the Square, the Compass, and the Concept of Doing One Push-Up Today.
The Creed
"I, Matthew Jared Smith, do solemnly swear before the All-Seeing Eye, the Sacred Fez, and the lukewarm gallon of water on my nightstand, that I shall — to the best of my ability — stop being a big back."
The Three Pillars
Brotherly Love · Relief · Cardio
II
The Compass
By which we navigate away from the kitchen at 11:47 PM, when the demons of the pantry awaken.
III
The Fez
Worn at parade-like tilt, it is a crown of accountability — and a hat that cannot be removed at the buffet.
The Treasury Welcomes Thee
Comedy is a calling. Calling requires Wi-Fi. Wi-Fi requires currency. Currency requires you, sweet patron of the arts.
$Tithe Unto The Order — $matthewsmith9999