Sacred Principles

The ancient values of the Masonic and Shriner orders, lovingly translated for the modern brother attempting to do better, eat better, and post less.

1

Brotherly Love

We regard the whole human race as one family — even our cousin who eats with his mouth open. To love thy brother is to spot him on bench, to share thy gallon jug, to never let him leave the house in those shorts.

2

Relief

To soothe the unhappy, to sympathize with their misfortunes, to compassionate their miseries, and to restore peace to their troubled minds — typically with a perfectly-timed Vine reference and a $5 CashApp.

3

Truth

The foundation of every virtue. Speak it boldly. Especially when a brother asks if these jeans still fit. They do not. Truth, my friend, is a friend.

4

Charity

The Shriner builds hospitals for children. The lesser brother builds, at minimum, a habit of tipping 22%. Both are sacred. Both require giving when it is inconvenient.

5

Mirth

Laughter is the highest sacrament. The fez is funny. The handshake is funny. The whole magnificent operation is, on some level, a beautiful absurdity. Take it seriously without taking thyself seriously.

6

Industry

A brother labors. With his hands, his mind, his iPhone Notes app full of half-finished bits. Idleness is the workshop of the big back. Build something today, even if it's a sandwich (small, on whole grain).

"Make good men better — and big backs functional."

— Ancient Lodge Aphorism, M.J. Smith translation